Dear Meteor readers,

It’s officially the Fall Equinox which means summer is truly, truly over. But the silver lining is we can all start sporting our fall fashions—which, in my opinion, are the only good fashions. Also: leaf peeping!

In today’s newsletter we’re covering the latest on the growing unrest in Iran after the death of Mahsa Amini, a 22-year-old woman who died under suspicious circumstances after being detained by Iran’s morality police.

Sitting under a sun lamp,

Shannon Melero

WHAT'S GOING ON

Burning their hijabs: Last Tuesday, 22-year-old Mahsa Amini was arrested by morality police in Iran for allegedly failing to cover her hair in accordance with the law. Three days after “mysteriously” falling into a coma while in police custody, she died. Witnesses to her arrest say that Amini was beaten by officers on her way to a detention center (a story officials are refuting). But since her death, women have taken to the streets and the internet to protest Amini’s treatment and the restrictive law in Iran that states that women must fully cover their hair and wear loose-fitting garments.

Protestors—led by women but supported by men—have been cutting their hair in defiance, while others are burning headscarves in the streets. So far nine people have been killed in altercations with Iranian security forces. Videos and images from the protests have been moving, heartbreaking, and essential to our understanding of how dangerous the situation has become for those daring to protest.

PROTESTORS REMOVING THEIR HEADSCARVES OUTSIDE OF THE IRANIAN EMBASSY IN ISTANBUL. (IMAGE BY CHRIS MCGRATH VIA GETTY IMAGES)

But now the Iranian government is slowly but surely trying to silence the voices of protestors by blocking internet access in cities where demonstrations are happening. Residents of Tehran have reported issues with Instagram and WhatsApp, platforms used to share messages about what’s really happening on the ground. Back in the United States, Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi was scheduled for an interview with Christiane Amanpour where one of the topics would be the unrest in Iran. However, after Amanpour refused to comply with his request that she don a head covering for their conversation, President Raisi declined to speak.

It would be easy—lazy, even—to write off what is happening in Iran as a local issue of religious freedom. Instead, this is a huge opportunity for the international community to support women fighting for their bodily autonomy. We cannot allow Mahsa Amini to fade into another tragic hashtag. Here is a list of reporters and experts to follow and amplify as the situation unfolds.

PROTESTORS IN THE STREETS OF TEHRAN, CLASHING WITH IRANIAN SECURITY FORCES. (IMAGE BY ANADOLU AGENCY VIA GETTY IMAGES)

Justice for Shireen Abu Akleh: According to a new report conducted by human rights group Al-Haq and research agency Forensic Architecture, there is sufficient forensic evidence to prove that Israeli forces “deliberately killed” Palestinian journalist Shireen Abu Akleh earlier this year. Abu Akleh was shot by a sniper while reporting from the city of Jenin while wearing a vest that clearly identified her as a member of a press. The report confirms the long-held suspicion that Abu Akleh was targeted by Israeli forces, despite the Israeli government’s claims that she was struck accidentally during an exchange of fire. There is even evidence that after Abu Akleh was hit, the shooter continued to fire on a civilian who attempted to give aid. On Tuesday, the report was presented at The Hague and an official complaint was filed. The IDF has released no response. 

AND:

• Only 20% of Puerto Rico has had its power restored. Many smaller towns and municipalities remain without power and cut off from the rest of the island as connecting bridges and roads have been washed away entirely. While we continue to donate and keep an eye on the island’s recovery, The Meteor sends an extra dose of love to our colleague Bianca who is currently there (as well as the last living matriarch of my own family, Sofia.)

• In Tuesday’s newsletter, we told you about Robert Sarver, the owner of the WNBA Phoenix Mercury and NBA Phoenix Suns who was fined for using racial slurs when speaking to players and creating a misogynist, hostile work environment. After major outcry from players and fans about his punishment being insufficient, Sarver announced this week that he will be selling the teams. So to be super clear, the punishment he is inflicting on himself for calling people the N-word multiple times is to [deep sigh] profit billions of dollars and then go away to his vacation home.

• Four Black students are suing Denver Public Schools on the grounds that the school district actively worked to steal their social justice podcast, which the students had started after the death of George Floyd. Evidence shows that the school district attempted to copyright the show’s title and affiliated works after it had been developed by the students. The story is a fascinating and sad reminder of the lengths Black creators must go to in order to protect their work.

BEFORE YOU GO...THERE ACTUALLY WAS SOME GOOD NEWS THIS WEEK! 

The news cycle has been particularly bad this week, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a few positive things going on in the world. Let’s get a quick hit of serotonin before the weekend.

• Something fun for our video game lovers out there: Ted Lasso and AFC Richmond will be included as a playable team in FIFA 23. And if that’s not enough to make you smile, the game’s soundtrack includes hits from Bad Bunny. (Husband, I hope you’re reading this and have your credit card ready.)

• Check out these stellar (ha) photos of Neptune and its rings captured by the Webb telescope. Fun fact: Neptune is currently in retrograde until December—which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! (Unlike Mercury, you mischievous devil.)

• Afghan journalist and founder of Rukhshana Media Zahra Joya was awarded the Changemaker Award by the Gates Foundation for her efforts towards advancing the Foundation’s sustainable development goals around the world. Congratulations, Zahra!

• ABBOTT ELEMENTARY IS BACK!!!

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Darling Meteor readers,

It is, with no exaggeration, the end of an era: Today the British royal family announced the death of Queen Elizabeth II at the age of 96 in her Scottish summer home, Balmoral Castle. After ruling over the United Kingdom for 70 years—longer than any other British monarch—she became a worldwide symbol of power, empire, and the complexities of leadership.

Despite everything we know about the queen, the actual woman behind the crown was as much of a mystery as she was a constant presence. The young Elizabeth ascended the throne at the age of 25, assuming a persona of apoliticism and hiding her emotions from public view. Her stoicism, which read as cold indifference to many, marked her entire rule for better or worse.

But despite being thrust into a role meant for someone else, she met the impossible task of ruling head-on in the face of a drastically changing world.

Her death will mean an array of different things to different people as her legacy is examined and picked apart in the days to come. For some this is a moment to reexamine history, for others, it may be solemn—there’s no singular way to process the death of this particular cultural institution. So during this time, let’s all extend each other a little grace to feel whatever it is we feel, even if it’s nothing at all.

And now, a little bit of news.

From behind the mourning veil,

Shannon Melero

WHAT'S GOING ON

Signed, sealed, delivered: On Tuesday, after winning their match against Nigeria, the U.S. Women’s National Team made history once again with the stroke of a pen. Players from the women’s team were joined on the field by the men’s national team to sign their collective bargaining agreements—solidifying the USWNT’s equal pay victory and guaranteeing their $24 million settlement with the U.S Soccer Federation. “The agreement marks the first time in soccer history that a women's national team will receive the same amount of pay as their male counterparts in the World Cup,” the Federation told CBS.  And they said it couldn’t be done!

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: BECKY SAUERBRUNN, CRYSTAL DUNN, AND SAM MEWIS AT THE SIGNING OF AN HISTORIC COLLECTIVE BARGAINING AGREEMENT FOR U.S. SOCCER. (IMAGE VIA TIM NWACHUKWU VIA GETTY IMAGES)

To spit or not to spit: Are we being gaslit? For the last two days, the internet (and the Meteor Slack channel) has been torn asunder by this single clip of Harry Styles at the Venice film festival, possibly spitting—or not spitting!—in the general direction of Chris Pine. My eyeballs tell me that Styles spit, or at the very least made a spitting motion in Pine’s direction. But Pine’s reps say no such thing happened and that Mainstream Media™ is just making up rumors. Who can I believe?! Who can I trust!? Is this all just an elaborate publicity stunt to get me to watch a movie I had no intention of watching??? The truth is out there!

AND:

• Extreme weather has been making living conditions worse worldwide, but the pending famine expected to strike Somalia later this year is especially frightening. The UN’s declaration of a coming famine means that they’ve already found that “more than 30% of children are acutely malnourished and over two people out of 10,000 are dying every day.” The death toll is expected to reach the hundreds of thousands as the country continues to suffer from drought, with access to humanitarian aid cut off by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

• Teenagers in Tennessee are mobilizing online to fight abortion bans in their state and provide better sex education to their peers. Not all heroes wear capes. But these heroes want fellow students to know about more than just the pull-out method.

• British Olympic swimmer Alice Dearing won a huge victory without even stepping into the pool. Last year Dearing was told she could not compete wearing her swim cap, which was designed to hold her natural 3C-type hair because it “did not follow the natural form of the head.” But last week, FINA (the Olympic administration which oversees all watersports) overturned the ban, allowing for the newer, larger caps to be used in elite competition. 🏊🏽‍♀️

• This week Barack and Michelle Obama returned to the White House for the unveiling of their official portraits—and as usual, the former first lady stole the show. After thanking everyone that had been a part of their journey, she reflected on what it meant to see portraits of two people who “weren’t supposed to be here.”

• Clara Sorrenti, a trans Twitch streamer who goes by the online name Keffals, has succeeded in finally deplatforming the notorious, hate-fueled forum KiwiFarms after years of harassment and threats from the site’s far-right, extremist users. In her statement announcing the victory, Sorrenti wrote, “The countless victims of Kiwi Farms can sleep soundly knowing that the site is doomed, will never regain its former momentum, and will continue to bleed followers and become more and more irrelevant with each passing week.”

• Steve Bannon has surrendered to authorities in New York to face conspiracy charges and an indictment on fraud. He will not be missed.

HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

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Hola Meteor readers,

I am a puddle of emotions this week. Last night Serena Williams walked onto the court for her first match at her last-ever U.S Open, a tournament she’s won six times over the years. The game was followed by a beautiful tribute from Billie Jean King and a special video narrated by Oprah thanking Serena for everything she’s done for the sport of tennis.

And as if that wasn’t enough: Taylor Swift announced a new album for October, so I really don’t know how I’m going to manage all these feelings through the fall.

Today’s newsletter is also somber and reflective. In honor of the 25th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death tomorrow, writer Susanne Ramirez de Arellano explores how the princess’s death helped her mourn a more personal one—and what she’s learned in the years since.

But first: some news.

Lighting a candle,

Shannon Melero

WHAT'S GOING ON

“Monsoon on steroids.” That’s just one phrase that’s been used to describe the onslaught of devastating floods that have put a third of Pakistan underwater. The word “dire” fails to capture how bad things are, with a death toll of over 1,000, nearly half a million citizens displaced, and entire cities, towns, and agricultural sites completely wiped out. It’s nothing short of a climate catastrophe, made worse by the country’s melting glaciers. To help those in need, please consider donating through UNICEF, the IRC, Islamic Relief, or LaunchGood.

Then there’s this: In a video shared by Jessica Valenti on Instagram, a story of forced birth that is too horrific told by a pediatric gynecologist in South Carolina.

AND:

• With elections looming, some Republicans are starting to walk back their statements on abortion, as if voters and the internet don’t remember everything.

• A new report from the Wall Street Journal finds that companies are shortening the amount of time offered for paid parental leave to the bare minimum of what states mandate (which is often just 12 weeks of unpaid disability leave).

• Rachel DeLoache Williams, a friend-turned-victim of Anna Delvey, is suing Netflix for its “defamatory depiction of her” in their series Inventing Anna. I’d be upset too if I were exposed for putting thousands of dollars on my company credit card and hiding it from my boss.

• ICYMI: Check out our report by student reporter Talia Kantor Lieber on colleges’ and universities’ responses to the overturn of Roe v. Wade.

WE REMEMBER

Princess Diana’s Death Is Personal for Me

It would be the last time I saw my brother alive.

BY SUSANNE RAMÍREZ DE ARELLANO

PRINCESS DIANA IN PARIS, 1988. (IMAGE BY BY JAYNE FINCHER VIA GETTY IMAGES) 

Tomorrow will be 25 years since Princess Diana died in a car crash in Paris, chased by paparazzi on motorcycles in the Pont de L’Alma. Her tragic end shocked the world and caused an unprecedented outpouring of grief in Britain.

Her death also embedded itself as a timepost in my life: It would be the last time I saw my younger brother alive.

The sequence of that day plays out in my mind’s eye like an old film. I had traveled from London (where I was living and working for a news agency) to New York to see my brother. He was very sick, but he would be flying from Hawaii to see us. My sister called and bluntly said, “I think you’d better get on a plane.” In a blur, I packed, rushed to the airport, and arrived late at night.

My beautiful brother, John Lawrence, known to us as Larry, had full-blown AIDS.

I woke up the following day to the front page of The New York Times: Diana, Princess of Wales, 36, Dies in a Crash in Paris. I sat at my sister’s kitchen table, in her beautiful home, with a sense of impending doom, only able to read the first paragraph again and again.

I refused to believe it. First, my brother, a shadow of his former self, was dying. And now Diana. Two people whose stories would become surreally intertwined in my life.

Diana was a facet of daily life in London. Her face was everywhere: in newspapers and magazines, on television programs, and on tea towels. I had seen the fairytale wedding, witnessed the unraveling of her marriage, and been inspired by the emergence of a strong-willed woman coming into her own. And, of course, we all remember that “revenge dress” at the Serpentine Gallery.

My brother and I watched the funeral together. (In truth, I think I forced him to watch it.) He lay on the sofa next to me as I stroked his thin legs, and we spoke of the woman who championed the cause of people living with AIDS.

Diana publicly took on the HIV crisis as a cause in 1987 when she opened the U.K.'s first HIV/AIDS unit at London’s Middlesex Hospital. She changed the way people thought about AIDS with just one gesture by shaking hands (without wearing gloves) with an AIDS patient who was terminally ill. It was the 1980s, and the shame around the illness was virulent.

For me, her gesture was a visually powerful way to confront HIV/AIDS stigma, a public challenge to the notion that HIV was passed from person to person by touch. It was the opposite of my family’s reaction. My father refused to acknowledge that Larry had AIDS, avoiding the crushing inevitability of what would happen. After my brother passed away, he would say that Larry had died of a tumor.

PRINCESS DIANA EXCHANGING HOLIDAY GIFTS WITH A PATIENT IN AN AIDS HOSPICE IN CANADA. (IMAGE BY TIM GRAHAM VIA GETTY IMAGES)

The princess was just 36 when she died; my brother, who passed away two months later, on October 30, 1997, was 37. Today, Diana would be 61 and my brother 62—two lives cut short when both had so much in front of them.

At present, there are approximately 38.4 million people across the globe living long and healthy lives with HIV. In 2021, 28.7 million people with HIV had access to antiretroviral therapy globally. Yet I am still angry that more was not done to fight AIDS earlier. It could have saved my brother.

Maybe it would have given him time to teach me how to surf. Instead, I can still see him riding the waves, lithe and athletic, like a dancer. Larry would laugh because I never stayed on the board for more than a minute. (But how exhilarating that minute was!)

This interlacing of stories—Diana's death and my brother's—is not a weepy fascination; there are no happy endings here. But Diana's funeral, and the collective grief of the British, allowed me to deal with what was happening in my life. The mourning of her loss permitted me to grieve mine.

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Good evening Meteor readers,

So I assume we’ve all taken a look at Biden’s student loan forgiveness plan by now and had time to run our own numbers and shake our fists at the sky, wondering why this man won’t hit the delete button on everyone’s student debt. Perhaps that’s overly idealistic of me—but it’s equally idealistic for federal loan programs to believe paying $400 a month until the year 3000 is any way to live.

BIG SHOUT OUT TO THE ONE PERSON ON THE RIGHT WHO BROUGHT SNACKS TO THE STUDENT LOAN BORROWERS RALLY IN DC THIS WEEK. (IMAGE BY PAUL MORIGI VIA GETTY IMAGES)

But a win is still a win, and this was a win since activists have been working to bring this possibility to life for over a decade. When some of us first started college, “loan forgiveness” wasn’t even a phrase anyone used. And now, it’s the talk of the town! Imagine how much we could get if we pushed for a few more years…But I digress. (Trust me, I could drone on for days about this.)

Today we’re loaning you our overview of the news at an introductory rate of 0% interest for the full term of your time here. Let’s roll.

Swiping my abacus,

Shannon Melero

WHAT'S GOING ON

Idaho again: A judge has placed an injunction on a portion of Idaho’s near-total abortion ban. Although most of the ban goes into effect today, the portion of the law allowing felony charges for physicians providing abortion services is on hold. According to Politico, it “does not provide adequate protection for physicians who perform abortions during a medical emergency, and therefore runs afoul of federal law guaranteeing patients the right to treatment when their health or life is at risk.” But people who help abortion patients in Idaho can still be sued for $20,000, and nearly all abortions are now illegal in the state. You can always help by donating to the state’s local abortion fund.

The blue wave that could: The results are in from Tuesday’s primaries in New York and Florida. And surprisingly, it’s not all bad news! Staten Island (which I’m being told is part of New York???) had its highest turnout for a Democratic primary ever. In Florida, an Afro-Cuban Gen Z nominee, Maxwell Alejandro Frost, is almost assured to be the first Gen Zer in Congress after beating out more experienced candidates. And Aramis Ayala, who went toe to toe with former Florida governor Rick Scott over the death penalty, secured the nomination for her state’s attorney general. We have a long way to go before November 8—but this is promising. It shows that people are fed up and ready to fight back.

What the actual fuck: A Missouri school district has reinstated corporal punishment (specifically, hitting with paddles) as a last resort to discipline students. And if that’s not wild enough for you: this proposal was brought to the district by parents who wanted their children to be physically disciplined at school and asked for a vote on reinstating the policy. (Families will still be able to opt-out of the new “paddling” policy by filling out a form.) Now I have no children, so maybe I am missing some sort of logic here, BUT I did once write a lengthy piece about the roots of child-hitting, which go back to the time of colonization and enslavement. The TL;DR is that hitting as a form of discipline in the U.S. arose as a direct response to acculturation and fear of worse violence enacted by the “dominant racial group.” Parents, specifically parents of color, feared what would happen to their children if they misbehaved in front of white authority figures. So the behavior was curbed (to the extreme) inside the home in the hopes of achieving some degree of safety. So what exactly are we teaching kids in Missouri (a state with a 31% Black and Latine population) about themselves when we allow them to be hit in school by an authority figure? Make it make sense.

AND:

• The police chief who grossly mishandled the response to the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas, has been fired after a unanimous vote from the school board. The real shock here is that this man still had a job to vote on after that tragedy.

• A young athlete named Fischer Wells helped start a girl’s field hockey team at her school in Louisville. But because she is transgender—in fact, the only openly trans athlete in her state—she’s banned from playing on the team.

• The political director of anti-abortion group Texas Right to Life has been arrested on suspicion of soliciting a minor, Jessica Valenti reports. In response to the arrest, the group has been removing all mention of the former director from their website.

• An LA Times investigation has unearthed two years of text messages between racist police officers who “joked” about killing Black children. To borrow an oft-repeated line from my youth: “Hell is hot.”

WHAT WE'RE READING, WATCHING, AND LISTENING TO THIS WEEKEND

If you don’t plan to spend your weekend watching the MTV VMAs (yes, that program is still running, and sadly I live quite close to where it’s happening), here are some culture offerings we’re enjoying on our days off:

• There’s lots to unpack as far as thoughts and opinions on Biden’s loan forgiveness plan. Here are some interesting takes to consider.

• “Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist,” is streaming on Netflix. It covers the story of college football player Manti Te’o, who infamously played through the deaths of his grandmother and girlfriend, only to later find out that his girlfriend never really existed. Even if you lived through this particular news story the twists and turns it takes are absolutely wild and even polarizing.

• Getting pumped for the U.S. Open? Enjoy this story about Black tennis players keeping the sport alive as they compete and train in underfunded facilities.

• Season 3 has already been out for a few weeks, but Mindy Kaling’s “Never Have I Ever” on Netflix is a feel-good comedy with low stakes—but high drama—that will make you laugh and cry with its hilarious depiction of the South Asian American teen experience.

• This week’s excellent episode of “UNDISTRACTED” features two doctors explaining precisely what we’re getting wrong in our response to the latest epidemic.

• I know that you are absolutely foaming at the mouth to support women’s sports and your time has arrived. There are two WNBA playoff games this Sunday, Seattle vs. Las Vegas and Connecticut vs. Chicago. You can catch both games on ESPN.

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Valar morghulis Meteor readers,

If that greeting confused you, then I gather you’re not one of the 10 million viewers who tuned in to watch House of the Dragon (the Game of Thrones prequel series) on Sunday. Which is fine, we all have our own thing, and apparently, my thing involves fawning over Matt Smith in a long flowing white wig as he’s waffling between villain and unloved elf man.

My doctoral thesis on how this fictional universe is not anti-feminist is forthcoming. For today’s edition, we’re flying our dragons over the glittering sea of news, so let’s get to it.

Valar dohaeris,

Shannon Melero (of house Targaryan)

P.S. If you’re a New York, Florida, or Oklahoma resident, it’s an election day for you. If you haven’t already, find your polling station and VOTE. You can take this newsletter with you and read it in line. 

WHAT'S GOING ON

We’re going to miss you: Dr. Anthony Fauci, a beacon of hope and common sense during the early days of COVID, announced Monday that he would be stepping down from his position as White House Chief Medical Adviser in December. He is NOT retiring but simply “[pursuing] other directions” in his career—which is impressive because he is fully 81 years old and has committed five decades of his life to public service. But in the government, at least: his watch has ended (sorry, last Thrones reference, I promise). Naturally, haters in the Republican party are still threatening an investigation into Fauci’s exact role in the government’s less-than-stellar pandemic response. Here’s what I know: it wasn’t this elderly man who was encouraging me to drink bleach and continue working as if COVID wasn’t real.

AND:

• Cara Chance, a librarian in Lafayette Parish, Louisiana, is at risk of losing her job after creating an LGBTQ+ book display in June for Pride month. Chance was told that her arrangement of titles such as Lawn Boy and Princess Princess Ever After violated a policy forbidding “cultural displays.” Her supporters have been extremely vocal and are awaiting the final decision from the local parish library board. These are houses of free books, for Pete’s sake!

• Four years after his conviction, rapist Brock Turner is back on the radar as TikTok and Facebook “whisper networks” are popping up in Ohio to warn women of Turner’s whereabouts. One post reported by VICE reads, “He is frequenting bars in [Dayton]. Do not let him leave with an intoxicated woman. Inform the women who he is.”

• New York’s largest utilities provider, Con Edison, has been dumping hot, toxic wastewater into the Hudson River, a New York Times investigation reveals.

• Another massive win for the National Women’s Soccer League! The League’s championship game will be aired on CBS during primetime instead of its previous death-sentence time slot of noon. How’d this happen? INVESTMENT. Ally Financial increased its “media investment” with CBS in order to secure a better time slot for players and fans and to really drive the point home to all those assholes who say no one watches or cares about women’s sports. The game airs on October 29, so mark it in your calendars right now and take the time to show up for athletes still fighting for better wages.

• Congratulations to our neighbors across the pond; England and Wales will now permanently allow pregnant people to order and access abortion pills from home without having to go to a clinic. Cheers!

• The Biden administration is closing in on a student loan relief planwhich may cancel up to $10,000 in debt for borrowers making less than $125,000 annually. Please, Joe, my guy, my brother in not-Christ, just cancel it all. My bank account and I are begging you.

• Twitter’s former security chief is blowing the whistle on the bird app’s “negligent security practices” and failure to “properly estimate the number of bots on its platform.” With elections (and election disinformation) coming up: Eyes wide open, friends.

LET KIDS CHOOSE

Teens also need abortion rights. Why have we made it so hard for them? 

BY CINDI LEIVE

A CALIFORNIA TEEN HAVING TO DO THE HARD WORK OF FIGHTING FOR HER RIGHTS BECAUSE THE ADULTS KEEP DROPPING THE BALL. (IMAGE BY RONAN TIVONY VIA GETTY IMAGES)

You probably read the headlines last week: A “parentless” 16-year-old in Florida had been denied the right to end her pregnancy by a court that found her “too immature” to make that decision. “I have no words…just rage,” read one typical comment on The Meteor’s post on the subject. “Too immature to have an abortion but mature enough to be a mother at 16?” asked another. “DA FUCK is this ruling?”

Excellent question, but if you think that the answer starts on June 24, when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade—nope. For decades, teens have had to jump through flaming hoops of humiliation to end their pregnancies. Florida, in fact, has not outlawed abortion—but it is among the at least 36 states with measures requiring teens to notify or secure the permission of one or both parents in order to receive care.

The first time I got enraged about this was almost three decades ago, in the 1990s, when, as a fresh-out-of-college editorial assistant, I sat in an editorial meeting at Glamour magazine and pitched a story on the newly emerging parental notification laws. (The knowledge that I wouldn’t have been at that conference-room table at all without the abortion I’d been able to get my freshman year was a motivating if unspoken factor.) Since then, most states have rolled out notification or consent laws—with “judicial bypass” exceptions that allow teens who don’t want to or can’t tell their parents to petition a judge instead for permission to end a pregnancy. The laws became the norm, and many Americans got used to them—an apparently “acceptable” infringement of rights, like the repro equivalent of a drinking age.

Except they’re not. The American Academy of Pediatrics opposes these restrictions, pointing out that most teens who can tell a parent about their abortion decision do (I did), and those who opt not to have solid and sometimes terrifying reasons. Plus, the judicial bypass process, meant to make things better, is only as good as the judge you get: In one study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health in 2019, teenagers who went through that system in Texas described it as “intimidating” and “scary,” full of judges who “preached” at them. “We found the bypass process functions as a form of punishment and allows state actors to humiliate adolescents for their personal decisions,” concluded the authors. Just six months ago, another Florida judge denied a 17-year-old an abortion, citing her low GPA as justification. (Don’t try to think through the logic.)

Now the horror of post-Roe America has made things worse. For one thing, judicial bypass could disappear as an option, potentially even in states where abortion is legal. And if abortion is illegal in a state, teenagers there are less likely than adults to have money to travel out of state; less likely to be able to rent a car in their name; and less likely to be able to find a telehealth option, usually only available to those over 18.

In other words, it’s bad. But—it’s been bad. And this is another reminder that, as Monica Simpson of SisterSong puts it, Roe was the floor. We don’t want to return to a world where legal abortion exists only for the wealthy, the white, or the appropriately “mature,” whatever that means. We want, and need, access for everyone, teenagers included.

We should never have gotten used to less.

Everyone needs abortion funds. Teens really need abortion funds. Find your local one at abortionfunds.org.

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Hello, hello, hello Meteor readers,

I’m sliding into your inbox this evening in a reflective mood for two very good reasons. The first being that I’m currently reading a book about breathing (recommend), and it’s really got me wondering if I’ve been doing it wrong the entire time.

The second is the Q&A in today’s newsletter, which has been like a perfectly cooked steak for my mind since I read the first draft; I just keep coming back to it. My wonderful and talented colleague Samhita Mukhopadhyay spoke to journalist Nona Willis Aronowitz about her latest book,  “Bad Sex: Truth, Pleasure and an Unfinished Revolution.” It’s a conversation about the philosophical dilemma of being a heterosexual feminist, (which, yes, is possible).

But before all that exciting stuff, an amuse bouche of news.

Questioning everything,

Shannon Melero

WHAT'S GOING ON

Say what ya need to say: Once again, Mike Pence is being given a chance to be more than a stain on history and is doing everything in his power to screw it up. Speaking at a college conference on Wednesday, Pence said that he would consider testifying before the January 6 committee if invited. But he stopped short of giving an absolute yes, despite admitting that “the American people deserve to know what happened.” We do, Mike! And this will I won’t I game you’re playing isn’t cute or noble or anything other than frustrating. If you want the good guy points, get in the chair and tell us the truth.

Bad brother: Embattled former New York governor Andrew Cuomo will be allowed to keep the $5 million he earned from his book about leading the state through season one of the pandemic. In case you can’t remember why this is a big deal: Cuomo used state resources to write the book, including having some of his staff work on it during office hours, an ethics committee ruled that the profit should be put back into state funds. And contrary to the account he gave in his masturbatory memoir, Cuomo was also found to have mismanaged the pandemic. Also, we’ve really given up on questioning him about that whole serial sexual harassment thing, huh?

Let's never talk about this again: The NFL and NFLPA have come to a final settlement agreement with Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson. Originally, an arbitrator had ruled to suspend Watson for six games due to the 24 civil lawsuits filed against him alleging sexual misconduct (nearly all of which have been settled outside of court). After an appeal process initiated by commissioner Roger Goodell, Watson will now have to miss 11 games and be hit with a $5 million fine. As someone who perpetually holds out hope that all sports can be better, this is not enough. I understand the punishment is lenient because there were no criminal charges or arrests made but at some point, the NFLPA should draw a line in the sand (I repeat 24 civil lawsuits). It is disappointing they felt anything less than a full season suspension was adequate. Watson still maintains his innocence and claims that he “never assaulted or disrespected anyone.”

AND: 

• Liz Cheney is taking her primary loss on the chin and considering a run for an even bigger office.

• A 🏳️‍🌈Wisconsin 🏳️‍🌈 school 🏳️‍🌈 board 🏳️‍🌈 has 🏳️‍🌈 banned 🏳️‍🌈 teachers 🏳️‍🌈 from 🏳️‍🌈 displaying 🏳️‍🌈 the 🏳️‍🌈 pride 🏳️‍🌈 flag.

• Angelina Jolie is suing the FBI over their failure to fulfill a Freedom of Information Act she filed in 2016 pertaining to an incident of alleged child abuse carried out by Brad Pitt (that he denies).

• In a surprising display of solidarity, USA Gymnastics president Li Li Leung is saying there is “no question” that a state’s abortion laws will factor into whether it can be chosen to host major competitions.

• Book banning is still happening, and it’s getting weird. A school district in Texas has pulled 41 books, including all versions of the Bible, a graphic adaptation of “Anne Frank’s Diary,” and “The Bluest Eye.”  Parents and the local school board first challenged every book on the list last school year after state officials launched an investigation into the presence of sexually explicit books. All 41 pulled books are now undergoing a second review to see if they are safe enough to be returned to shelves. But I gather once the school board figures out the allegorical references made in the book of Psalms, the Bible won’t be making any reappearances.

• The Puerto Rico Status Act—a bill providing the framework for a vote on Puerto Rico’s independence or further annexation by the U.S.—is stalled due to so-called “outsiders.” One such outsider is Power 4 Puerto Rico, a group representing people from the island and the diaspora, has asked that the proceedings be discussed in public and made available in Spanish, so voters know what precisely is being offered in the act. Doesn’t sound like stalling, as much as asking for a fair process

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

When “Men Are Trash” Is Not Enough

According to Bad Sex, if you are going to date men and be a feminist about it, you should ask yourself why.

BY SAMHITA MUKHOPADHYAY

THE TRUE MAGIC OF BOOKS THAT MAKE YOU THINK. (PHOTO BY COURTESY OF NONA WILLIS ARONOWITZ)

Feminists have generally been interested in—and for—women’s sexual freedom. But what happens when sexual liberation—understood as women’s freedom to choose how, when, why, and with whom she has sex—is not enough? That’s exactly what my good friend Nona Willis Aronowitz’s new book “Bad Sex: Truth, Pleasure and an Unfinished Revolution” tackles. Part memoir, partly reported, part historiography, the book investigates a brutal truth: how can we sometimes be as free as can be and still unsatisfied in our sexual and love lives?

I talked to Nona last week at her book launch. This is a shortened version of our riveting (if I do say so myself!) conversation.

Samhita Mukhopadhyay: At what point did you realize you wanted to write a book about s-e-x?

Nona Willis Aronowitz: I consider myself a journalist. I've written on a lot of different topics, but ultimately I kept coming back to gender and sexuality over and over again, especially around 2017 when my life was a total mess and also #metoo was happening, and there was this renewed conversation about sex and pleasure.

The book is a seamless combination of memoir and history. What was the process of piecing that together?

My journey is genuinely connected to reading about all this stuff at the same time things were happening to me. I was up in the library reading about Emma Goldman [and her nonmonogamy] just as I was grappling with nonmonogamy, and I was reading about Dana Densmore and the celibates [who believed the path to feminist liberation was to withhold sex from men] just as I was taking a break from sex. So it was actually an intellectual journey coupled with an emotional journey.

My mother, Ellen Willis, was a pro-sex feminist from the sixties and seventies and eighties and nineties, and her legacy was all over this topic. She died in 2006, and I'd been grappling with her work ever since, but this was sort of the deepest, most visceral way that I was grappling with it because finally, I was her age when she was writing, in my thirties and going through some of the same things that she [had been] going through. So I really felt like, for the first time, we were dialoguing rather than me as 22-year-old reading stuff from my mom.

CHEERS TO BESTIES WITH BOOK DEALS. (PHOTO COURTESY OF NONA WILLIS ARONOWITZ)

I don’t think many people are in a situation where they report out a close relationship. Talk a little about that experience: emotionally and technically going into your mom’s archive, talking to her ex-boyfriends, etc. 

Yeah. I mean, it’s interesting because I’d known all my life the two ex-boyfriends I spoke to for this book. She was the type of person to keep exes in the mix as friends. I learned a lot of new stuff while technically interviewing them for this, but I knew both of these men.

What really was amazing and fascinating was talking to my dad’s ex-wife, Jane. She was very generous with her story. We don’t know each other very well, and she told me some painful things about a dad I didn’t even recognize. So I also did reporting on my dad’s life, my dad’s early life, which, I mean, both my parents grew up in the forties and fifties, respectively. So this is a long ass time ago. So the socialization was different, and they both had to reinvent themselves, and some of those early versions of them, I truly didn’t recognize.

I couldn’t help but wonder while reading the book, “God, it could have been so different for me if my parents didn’t put so much pressure on me to get married and so much shame on me about my sexuality.” You had the opposite experience. 

Yeah, although my parents didn’t apply the pressure. My mom gave me a lot of latitude when it came to being a teenage girl who made mistakes and did whatever I needed to do. She gave me the privacy that I think some teens really dream about.

So what I think happened was not shame around sexuality, but shame around not being this perfect sexual feminist because some of my earliest idols were Samantha from Sex in the City and Lil Kim and Foxy Brown and stuff, these very seemingly invulnerable, but obviously not truly invulnerable women who are just like, “I’m going to get that. I’m going to get my pussy ate,” or whatever. I wanted to be them. So I didn’t have shame around my desires, but I did have shame around just not living up to some sort of straw woman expectation of feminism [that casual sex was enough when it wasn’t always].

YOU KNOW A BOOK IS GOOD WHEN THE BACK COVER LOOKS LIKE THIS. (PHOTO COURTESY OF NONA WILLIS ARONOWITZ)

In the late 90s and early 2000s, there was a lot of pushback on traditional ideas of marriage, and there was more cultural space to be like “I want to be nonmonogamous” or “I want to be casual” or whatever. But, I remember when my friends started to get married, they’d say to me, “I know I’m a really bad feminist, but” trying to make this historically sexist institution feminist in some way.

I mean, I thought that I could escape the binds, expectations, and privileges of marriage by just having this irreverent marriage for health insurance. I couldn’t. Marriage gives you status. Marriage gives you heft with old people. It gives you benefits. There are all kinds of crutches and ways in which marriage sort of bumps up your status that’s hard to let go of, even if you’re supposedly a leftist, radical, or free spirit.

So, the book is out in the world, and people are responding to it. And not everyone is going to understand it. Some people argue that if women want marriage and monogamy, feminists should be okay with that or that traditional ideas of courtship are actually more feminist than the lack of accountability that might come from casual sex, etc. You addressed some of this backlash to sex-positive feminism in a recent New York Times op-ed. Nona, what else do you have to say to your haters?

Well, I do agree that there’s something very wrong with what ‘sex positivity’ has turned into. The premise of the book is that not only the patriarchy but also a certain strain of [sex positive] "feminism" has put a lot of pressure on women. I just disagree about the solutions. Many people are saying there need to be more rules and boundaries. I’m saying there actually needs to be more freedom.

I’ll take monogamy as an example—or, let’s say, commitment. People say that a lot of women want commitment [from a partner], but they’re afraid to ask for it, they’re suppressing their true feelings, and their emotional needs are not met by hookup culture. It’s not like I would disagree with that—but I would also say, “Okay, you can’t just take desire at face value.” There are socially constructed reasons why you desire what you desire. That’s true for monogamy. There’s a lot of internalized messaging from a very young age that people aren’t respecting you unless they’re monogamous.

I’m not saying that non-monogamy is the real feminism or that monogamy is the real feminism. I’m saying interrogate your desires as much as you possibly can.

To me, the core of this book is exploring how to be heterosexual and a feminist…which for a lot of women is simply the default that “men are trash, but we love them anyway.” 

I don’t think the ‘men are trash’ paradigm is helpful. I think it can be cathartic: Anger towards men is legit; patriarchy sucks. But what does that mean for your life if you say men are trash and still endeavor to love and partner with them?

Actually, it’s interesting. Heterosexual women are the only marginalized or oppressed identity who are meant to partner with and fuck and love their oppressors. In most other contexts, you can be a separatist, and there were lesbian separatists, of course, but then it’s like, how do you continue society? We do need men. And, if you truly are heterosexual and you really do want to have loving relationships with men, it’s worth investigating why and how. So ultimately, fine. Have your ‘men are trash’ moment, but then push further—ask yourself why I am attracted to men and why do I want to be with them.

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