Salve, Meteor readers,

Do you think about the Roman Empire a lot? Turns out lots of men on the internet do, and I too have to admit to frequently pondering the legitimacy of Gaius Octavius’s claim to the throne. But tonight, instead of reading through the Cesarean family tree (again), I’m thinking about The Meteor’s newest podcast In Retrospect, which launched today! Woo!

The Meteor’s own Susie Banikarim (whose Emmy I stare at whenever we chat on Zoom) and New York Times editor Jessica Bennett look at how some of the biggest cultural moments of the ‘80s and ‘90s shaped our understanding of the world. Their first episode? All about how General Hospital’s Luke and Laura became everyone’s favorite soap-opera couple…but actually started off when Luke raped Laura. (There’s a lot to dissect there.)

In today’s newsletter, writer Scarlett Harris talks to author Amanda Montei about her new book Touched Out, Rupert Murdoch’s exit has us examining his dystopian legacy, and we share a little something about work.

Retrospectively,

Shannon Melero

WHAT’S GOING ON

Do let the door hit you on the way out: Rupert Murdoch is officially stepping down from his role as dark overlord of Fox Corp. and News Corp. after a nearly 70-year career in the news industry. Although to say he was “in” the industry is a bit of a downplay, considering that this man shaped the conservative and rightwing news landscape as we know it. For longer than I’ve been alive, Rupert Murdoch has been The News.

You might think that as a journalist, I have some respectful words for this magnate who was technically an innovator. But you’d be wrong!

Because Murdoch was so powerful and rich, the outlets he owned will share flowery accounts of his success and influence, painting a picture of a controversial entrepreneur. But the reality is that Murdoch wielded his influence like a machete to wreak international havoc. Remember when Fox News knowingly broadcasted election-related lies and escorted Trump to victory in 2016? Or when Murdoch pretended that the allegations of rampant sexual misconduct at Fox were just “nonsense” cooked up by his lefty enemies? Let’s also remember that Murdoch frothed up enthusiasm for the Iraq War, let Tucker Carlson peddle racist conspiracy theories, and brought us the witches’ coven that is The Fox Blondes. (I would like to apologize to any witches who find that comparison offensive. Please do not hex me.)

Sadly, his exit doesn’t mean that the Murdochs’ grip on American news is loosening. Not only will his son run the show, but 92-year-old Murdoch intends to remain “chairman emeritus” at Fox. It’s giving something familiar…

AND:

• It’s shocking to learn just how far certain medical institutions will go to protect their own—even if they’re predators. First, Serial brought us the story of a nurse stealing fentanyl at Yale Fertility Center, which dismissed countless reports of patients’ pain before finally investigating. Then we read about a Columbia University OB/GYN who assaulted his patients for decades while the administration ignored myriad complaints. And today, ESPN reported a lawsuit brought by Olympic bronze medalist Aja Evans, who complained in 2012 of being sexually assaulted by a team doctor. “At times I spoke up to the coaches and the medical staff, it was really disregarded,” Evans said. Discovering a predator is one thing, but letting that person go unchecked for years? That’s horrific institutional neglect.

• An all-women newsroom has started up in Somalia, “one of the most dangerous places to be a reporter,” per Reuters.

• On Wednesday, actress Angelica Ross shared that American Horror Story co-star Emma Roberts had knowingly misgendered Ross while on set. In a video posted to TikTok, Ross explained that she felt she could not address Roberts’ remark because of the power imbalance between her and Roberts. But then, a shocking twist: Shortly after the video was posted, Roberts called Ross to apologize! Like, on the phone! An actual apology! Not a Notes App half-pology written by a publicity intern. Shoutout to Angelica Ross for helping her co-star—and everyone else—learn a lesson in respect.

• It’s still Hispanic and Latine Heritage Month, so check out this new study from Pew about how U.S. Latines really feel about speaking or not speaking Spanish. Of those surveyed, 54% say they were shamed by other Latine people because they don’t speak Spanish. Wild considering Spanish is the forced language of our colonizers! Technically I’d be speaking Taíno were it not for Spain.

BOOK TALK

Where Rape Culture Meets Motherhood

Amanda Montei on being “touched out”

BY SCARLETT HARRIS

IMAGE COURTESY OF BEACON PRESS

“Parenting in America feels so nonconsensual.”

That’s the thesis of Amanda Montei’s new book, Touched Out: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent and Control, which charts how rape culture—the idea that young women’s bodies are not our own—prepares us for the expectation that we should ignore pain and discomfort in motherhood. Montei offers all-too-relatable visuals of how this manifested with her own children, who were climbing all over her like a jungle gym. That scenario, along with breastfeeding and obligatory sex, has “mothers hiding in bathrooms, pressing hands out around them to create imaginary barriers between body and world… husbands and children.” As a mother, Montei got the feeling that her “body was a play thing”—the same message she’d gotten as a girl.

We spoke to her about what it means to be “touched out,” how #MeToo forced her to confront past trauma, and what it feels like to raise kids during such a fraught time in American history.

For those who may not know already, what does “touched out” mean?

“Touched out” is this term that has become popularized over the last decade or so online, mostly with millennial, cis, hetero, married women [and especially mothers]. Usually when we see descriptions of this phenomenon it’s “skin crawling”: that desire to jump out of one’s skin and a longing for personal space. It became a metaphor for the way a lot of us feel living in systems of power that’s like, I need a break from all these expectations and scripts and hands. A lot of the early writing around this feeling was that it’s normal and natural but it will pass. That didn’t sit well with me.

Is that what led you to [connect] your experience with being touched out as a mother with the #MeToo movement and your own experiences with sexual assault and harassment?

That’s how I experienced #MeToo: I was a new mother. I had been pushed out of my academic career in many respects. I was working at a daycare, taking care of a young kid while pregnant again, and I was parenting mostly alone. I was kind of watching all of this unfold and processing all this new language and the invitation to let go of the other kind of shame that comes with blaming oneself for being violated. That was a lot to respond to while having a small child, so I wanted to take the reader through that feeling because I think it’s a common experience, from speaking with other mothers.

With that in mind, do you think pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting can be traumatizing?

Birth can be and is traumatizing for plenty of people, not to mention pregnancy, especially now in this post-Roe era. In an American context, the terms of trauma and triggering get a really bad rap in the sense that “everything’s trauma,” but I think that’s unfortunate because we are still very much living in a time when women’s trauma and violation aren’t taken seriously.

[And with] parenthood, there’s aspects that can be traumatizing. Being with children all the time…forces us to face a lot of our unresolved issues, not just about our bodies but about everything [such as breastfeeding, care work, and consent]. The stuff that we buried through addiction and other coping mechanisms. We don’t talk about that in postpartum care at all.

You write about the dichotomy between the medicalization of pregnancy and childbirth in America versus “natural childbirth,” which, removed from their political ideologies, contribute to…pregnant and postpartum bodies being objectified. Can you tell me a little more about that?

Childbirth especially is this ideological battlefield: It’s either this medical institution built on distrust of pregnant voices, particularly when it comes to race and the disbelief of Black women’s pain, or it’s this proving ground: In certain “natural childbirth” mentalities, we go through pain and suffering in order to prepare us to be parents, which is problematic because there are plenty of non-gestational parents who don’t go through childbirth.

There’s that Nike campaign, which has this line that mothers are the toughest athletes and only the strongest survive. And that sounds empowering, but it comes from a long line of thinking that [normalizes] suffering and pushing through pain.

How does it feel to have this book coming out now during such a fraught time, with the fall of Roe and the childcare crisis, amongst other things?

I began working on it before COVID, but I was really working on it during the pandemic and it felt urgent because suddenly people were having these conversations that previously were radical, like giving parents money for the work they do inside the home. This is a sad and horrible time in the sense that we have this aggressive rollback of rights, but it’s also a time when more and more people want to have these conversations about caregiving, how capitalism is set up, the exploitation of women’s work in the home and how that is a major source of male power.

Writing and parenting are interrelated in the sense that we want to be honest about what’s hard but we also want to create some imagined other future. That’s the creative, intellectual work of parenting. Motherhood is this unfinished territory, so I hope with this book we can see how…motherhood and family as an institution are related to these other issues around autonomy and consent and sexuality. They’re not this niche, unserious thing.

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for length and clarity.

LET’S GET TOGETHER!

Planning to be in New York on October 12? Crazy, so are we! We’ll be at Neueue House hosting Work Shift, a half-day summit exploring the ways work is changing for women and nonbinary people—and how to navigate those shifts. You can reserve your seat by clicking on the image below. Hope to see you there!

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