Literally, Who Is George Santos?
  January 19, 2023 Blessed eve to you, Meteor readers, Today I’m thinking about New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, who announced that she would resign before her country’s next election. And she’s not doing it because of scandal or because she thinks she can’t win another election. (Shit, I’d vote for her if I could.) She’s doing it because, as she said, there just isn’t enough in her tank to do the job to the level of excellence she’s previously provided.  This really struck me. I’m so accustomed to American culture, where you work and do a job until it absolutely hobbles you, and then, in your depleted state, you do a little more. Imagine being so in tune with yourself and caring for your country so much that you can put your ego to the side and make a selfless decision like that. The zipping sound you hear is my suitcase closing as I head to catch a flight to NZ to ask Jacinda Ardern to be my new mentor. But before I board, we’ve got a great newsletter for you today with a look into the many lived lives of George Santos and a special announcement waiting for you down unda’. Evaluating all tank levels, Shannon Melero  WHAT’S GOING ONGeorgie boy: Where do we even begin? If you haven’t been following the walking VEEP episode that is the George Santos saga, bottom line is that this New Yorker’s election win helped Republicans cinch a narrow lead in the House last November. Santos’s campaign had been built on a litany of inspiring, heartwarming stories that were almost too good to be true. And as it turns out—they weren’t. As he tells it, Santos’ parents were both immigrants: his father from Brazil, his mother from Europe, where she “fled socialism.” (I really didn’t want to interrupt myself so early, but FYI, they’re both from Brazil.) He says they enrolled him in Horace Mann Prep, but tragically, they couldn’t afford to keep him enrolled; he had to drop out four months before graduation. (Sorry to interrupt again, but as a representative from Horace Mann told CNN, “There is no evidence that George Santos (or any alias) attended.”) Speaking of his mother: According to Santos, the September 11 attacks claimed her life. Wait, no, sorry. She died in 2016, also according to him. But she was, he claims, in her office in the South Tower when the plane hit…which is a bit odd, considering her official immigration documents place her in Brazil at that time. Is now a bad time to bring up his claims that his grandmother was a victim of the Holocaust? (She wasn’t.) But enough talk about the distant past. Let’s discuss something more recent! In 2016, he raised $3,000 through GoFundMe to remove a life-threatening tumor from the dog of a disabled veteran. So sweet—or at least it would have been if he hadn’t kept the money for himself. Honestly, I could go on. He may or may not have a husband. He may or may not have stolen his roommate’s scarf to wear to a Trump rally. He may or may not have once been a drag queen (which, for some reason, is one of the only stories that he’s addressed). There’s a lot of uncertainty when it comes to Santos, but one thing is clear: The Republicans made a desperate mistake relying on him for their majority, just another in a long line of frantic clings to power with no thought for what it might mean for our country. But surely a politician with this many blatant, bald-faced lies can’t maintain his position for long…Right? AND:
—Bailey Wayne Hundl  METEOR IRL  FOLLOW THE METEOR    Thank you for reading The Meteor! Got this from a friend? Sign up for your own copy, sent Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ideas? Feedback? Requests? Tell us what you think at [email protected]
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