Florida’s New Child Kidnapping Law

May 18, 2023

Heeyyoooo Meteor readers,

Friends! I’ve come back to you from the wilderness of maternity leave on this lovely Thursday to reclaim my ergonomic newsletter writing throne. Now I know what you’re thinking: What could possibly drag me away from my very cute child perched upon her Boppy? I think we all know the answer to that.

That’s right, I am here with a piping hot 2,000-word essay on Scandoval and its implications, not just on the reality TV landscape (which is now forever changed) but on the sixth wave of feminism, launched by Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney.

Just kidding! I save those thoughts for the unhinged voice notes I send my friends late at night. In today’s newsletter, we’re talking about the WNBA, Gen Z’s contributions to feminist theory, and sports bras.

But first, let’s get through This Week in GOP Tomfoolery.

It’s all happening,

Shannon Melero

P.S. It would be such a great welcome-back-to-work gift if you filled out this survey, all about how this newsletter can better serve you. More deets below!

WHAT’S GOING ON

Let (straight) Kids Be Kids: Yesterday ~~possible antichrist~~ Gov. Ron DeSantis set a horrifying new record for Largest Group of Anti-LGBTQ+ Bills Passed At Once in Florida, signing four into law. And if you think they’re bad, you’d be wrong. They’re fucking horrendous:

The Pronoun Ban, aka HB 1069: This bill requires classrooms to teach that “it is false to ascribe to a person a pronoun that does not correspond” with the gender they were assigned at birth. It also bans educators from sharing their pronouns with their students if those pronouns don’t match their assigned gender at birth.
The Drag Ban, aka HB 1438: This bill, much like the one passed in Tennessee in March, makes it a crime to expose a child to any “adult live performance” deemed “patently offensive to prevailing standards.” And though the text of this bill didn’t specifically ban drag shows, First Lady Casey DeSantis made sure to clarify on Twitter that they were included.
The Bathroom Ban, aka HB 1521: This bill requires people to use the restroom and locker room that coincides with their assigned gender at birth. Quick question: How are they planning on enforcing this one? Are we doing genital checks for everyone who enters the bathroom? You know, to make sure no one feels violated.
The WTF, aka SB 254: Not only does this bill prohibit state funds from being used to support any type of gender-affirming care, and ban minors from receiving that care at all—this bill also grants state courts “temporary emergency jurisdiction over a child” who has received gender-affirming care. In other words: The state can take your kid if they’re trans.

During the signing ceremony, DeSantis celebrated his attempts to keep Florida “a refuge of sanity and a citadel of normalcy” (gross) behind a podium with a sign reading “Let Kids Be Kids.” But studies have found that providing trans youth with gender-affirming care strongly decreases the risk of suicide and depression. Let trans kids be trans, too—or they might not live to be adults.

AND:

GOP problem child Marjorie Taylor Greene announced Thursday afternoon that she will be bringing forth articles of impeachment against President Biden. Yes, you read that correctly. The Georgia representative cited Biden’s “[refusal] to enforce immigration laws” as the driving force behind the articles, saying the current administration has been working to “systematically destroy this country” since inauguration day. Obviously, this is a little desperate. But the far right’s main candidate in the upcoming election is a sexual abuser who already lost this shit once, sooo…

Pearl Bar, Houston’s only lesbian bar, was denied an insurance policy for the first time since opening ten years ago due to the “risk” of the bar including drag shows, according to an email from an insurance underwriter. This denial comes hot on the heels of the ever-advancing drag ban making its way through the Texas legislature.
SUR isn’t the only workplace rife with uncomfortable drama. The WNBA has sanctioned Las Vegas Aces coach Becky Hammon after an investigation found she violated the league’s Respect in the Workplace policy. Hammond was accused of intentionally trading a pregnant player off the team and asking inappropriate questions about the pregnancy. Hammon faces a two-game suspension and the Aces will lose the first pick in the 2025 draft. The player in question is Dearica Hamby who announced she was pregnant last year while the Aces celebrated their championship win. In January Hammon traded Hamby to the Los Angeles Sparks and added Candace Parker, Alysha Clark, and Cayla George to the Aces roster. Hammon stands by her decision and says the move was strictly business. Meanwhile, Hamby is back to work for the Sparks less than three months after the birth of her child. 🤯 We’ll see who has the last laugh when Hamby goes up against her former team this weekend.

DEARICA HAMBY AND HER HAMBABIES. (SCREENSHOT VIA INSTAGRAM)

Major fashion moment for greater accessibility: Last week, British Vogue editor-in-chief Edward Enninful announced that the magazine’s May 2023 edition will be available in Braille!
I’ve never had anything nice to say about the Philadelphia Eagles until today. In an effort to keep young girls active in youth sports, the Eagles are becoming the first NFL team to include sports bras in the equipment kit provided to girls in their flag football league. Okay, now everybody do it!
Just when you thought you were caught up on every different flavor of feminism, a new one emerges. Refinery29 gets young people to explain “sex-negative feminism,” to the olds. (Me, I’m the olds.) It’s essentially a response to the lets-go-to-the-local-slut-walk brand of feminism popularized by millennials. As one Gen Z-er told the outlet, “It’s women being disillusioned with the overt abuse and enforcement of patriarchal standards of womanhood” made even more visible by depictions of oversexualized teens in shows like Euphoria.
Namibia has finally decided to recognize same-sex marriages, as long as they happened in another country. Feels like they could have skipped that last part, but still! Progress!

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