An Abortion Ban That’s “Just So Vile”
 October 1, 2025 Greetings, Meteor readers, Eight years ago this week, the world watched as Carmen Yulín Cruz Soto, then the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, stood in front of a room full of reporters and pleaded for help in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria. “We are dying, and you are killing us with inefficiency,” she said, referring to President Trump and FEMA. With tears in her eyes and defiance in her voice that day, Cruz Soto added, “We will make it with or without you.” It was a moment that will stay with me forever—the moment it became crystal clear how little the United States cared about the people it had worked so hard to colonize. For some time, it felt as if all the world saw when it looked at Puerto Rico was a land perpetually recovering from a hurricane. But after millions of records sold and an historic residency in El Choli, Bad Bunny has brought the eyes of the world to Puerto Rico not for her despair but for her art, music, culture, and history. So on Sunday, when it was announced that he would be headlining the next Super Bowl, it felt like an enormous middle finger to the colonizers. And when he hits that stage, it will be with our flag and our music. On February 8, millions will watch what journalist Susanne Ramirez de Arellano describes as “a Puerto Rican singing in Spanish on the most precious stage of the colonizers.” I think it will be the sweetest sound I ever hear.  READY YOUR PLENA DRESSES FOR FEBRUARY SISTREN. (VIA GETTY IMAGES) But until the blessed day is upon us, let’s see what else is going on in the world. First, we head to South Carolina to understand a “nightmare” abortion bill. Then a quick flight to New York, where Mattie Kahn introduces us to an unexpected RHONY candidate. Shannon Melero PS: The Meteor will be closed on Thursday for Yom Kippur, so we will see you all on Friday when we’re back.  WHAT’S GOING ONThe very worst ban: One of the most extreme abortion bans in the country has its first hearing tomorrow in the South Carolina statehouse, where lawmakers and civilians will have a chance to show support or opposition for Senate Bill 323—a bill so vile that Tori Nardone, the communications manager for Women’s Rights Empowerment Network (WREN), tells The Meteor that “it cannot be allowed to move another inch.”. What makes SB 323 unique among other abortion bans in the U.S.? “It’s a bill that would treat abortion essentially as a homocide,” Nardone says. It would do so by re-labeling embryos as persons under the law, a change that would enable the criminalization of anyone who destroys an embryo, whether they’re a medical provider or a pregnant person. (Currently, no other state criminalizes pregnant people for having abortions, but providers and manufacturers have come under fire.) “This bill doesn’t just limit abortion,” Nardone explains. “It threatens contraception, IVF, miscarriage care, and even free speech.” Under SB 323, anyone sharing information on how to obtain an abortion, even one outside the state of South Carolina, could be held criminally liable. “IVF often involves creating multiple embryos, some of which may not be implanted, so redefining embryos as full legal persons could criminalize very standard IVF procedures that people need and want to grow their families,” Nardone says. The bill would also ban medication abortion, remove exceptions for incest and rape, create a gag order on sharing abortion information, and establish a bounty hunter law by which individuals can sue anyone who may have helped someone get an abortion. To put it in the simplest terms: imagine if the most extreme part of every existing abortion ban was stitched together to make a Frankenstein’s monster of bans. That is SB 323. Tomorrow’s hearing in the statehouse is scheduled outside of the regular legislative session— a sign that the South Carolina GOP is eager to put it on a national stage, which Nardone says is detrimental to women everywhere. “Passing this bill would set a very dangerous precedent for other states to follow,” Nardone says.“This isn’t just a South Carolina problem,…This is a national issue.” Nardone herself has volunteered to speak tomorrow at the state house, where she will tell her own personal story of seeking abortion care, and she hopes that the hundreds of others who have volunteered to speak will illustrate the severity of this bill. As Nardone puts it: “It’s just so vile.” As always, now is the time to make noise. Call your senators, email them, email their assistants, and their assistants’ assistants. There is still time to ensure that this bill never makes it to a first round of voting.  MEANWHILE IN NEW YORK…New York City Mayor Eric Adams has announced that he is dropping his bid for re-election, ending his lackluster campaign for a second term. Now he did have to go. His poll numbers had sunk to new lows, he had been charged in a federal corruption case (later dropped), scandal had engulfed his administration, and he has lied about—among other things—the actual value of his rental income, his experiences with a neighbor’s dog, and being vegan. These are bad qualities in an elected official, from whom we should expect ethical leadership and transparent accounting. But—and please hear me out—these are great qualities in a Real Housewife of New York! As he contemplates life after Gracie Mansion, I’d like to encourage Eric Adams to pursue a new sphere of influence: The Bravoverse.  ADAMS, ALREADY MAKING FRIENDS WITH HIS POTENTIAL FUTURE CO-WORKERS, REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY STARS JOE AND MELISSA GORGA. (VIA GETTY IMAGES) Let’s consider the evidence: Like some of our best Housewives, Adams has a nice smile, is defensive and self-interested, and loves a good time. I do not trust him to balance a budget or build affordable housing, but I know he could plan a fabulous girls’ trip (just think of the perks that must come with his status on Turkish Airlines). This man looks at home in a sprinter van. He holds an endless number of grudges. He believes in ghosts. And at least 30% of what comes out of his mouth in public could double as an iconic tagline. See: “My haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success.” Or: “Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.” Ramona Singer wishes! Our own Shannon Melero offers the perfect tag line: “I ran New York… I know when I smell a rat.” New Yorkers believe in second chances. For Eric Adams, atrocious leader, redemption is possible! All he needs is to host a rat-themed season finale gala. Andy Cohen, call him! — Mattie Kahn  AND:
 THE LIBRARY IS OPEN!! (VIA GETTY IMAGES)
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